Communists in the Playground. What do you call your period?

Following the theme of euphemisms for women’s private parts, I was recently 'lucky' enough to overhear a young couple talking in a supermarket aisle.

‘Babe, can you chuck some tampons in the basket too’.

The guy glares back, visibly disgusted at the thought of no action. ‘Aw what the f***? You riding the bloody cotton pony this week?’

Eyes narrowing, his girlfriend answered ‘No darling, I’m just going to be bleeding from my fanny. It’s called a period and you’d better hope it does arrive because otherwise that means we’re having babies.

At this point, I probably saved their relationship by chuckling and catching the eye of the girl, in one of those ‘ah, aren’t men funny’ moments of sisterhood. Instead of the shared smile I’d hoped to receive, I had death stare from both as they realised I’d be unashamedly ear-wigging. Together united again, they turned on their heel and walked towards the pasta aisle.

But, it did make me think about all the euphemisms that people used when discussing periods. Some come right out and say ‘I have my period’. Others skirt around the subject, sugar coating it into something that could mean almost anything.

What do you use?

• Miss Scarlett's Come Home to Tara
• Trolling for Vampires
• A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy
• Saddling Old Rusty
• Feelin' Menstru-riffic!
• Clean-Up in Aisle One
• Massacre at the Y
• T-Minus 9 Months and Holding
• Game Day for the Crimson Tide
• Panty Shields Up, Captain!
• Taking Carrie to the Prom
• Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band
• Ordering l'Omelette Rouge
• Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp
• Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System
• Dangleberry week
• Communists in the Playground
• Riding the Cotton Pony
• Auntie Flo’s come to visit
• On the rag
• The dot (did this influence Kotex’s branding by any chance?)